>>>the miseducation of.... (xbetterthenever) wrote,
>>>the miseducation of....
xbetterthenever

oy

So I was wrote out this huge entry about how the entire time I was pregnant ted called me fat and gross, and said I would never be thin agian, when in reality the day I gave birth I weighed 150lbs, a week later I was down to 130lbs, a month later I was back to 120lbs, which I was before I got knocked up.  And how I just realized his words got to me more then I realized, as I have been trying to buy clothes and nothing fits me but size 00, wtf?  all the sudden I weigh 105 and I am 5'6.  I went into a fitting room today with a size one, I was swimming in them.  I started to cry because I realized I let Ted get to me, and I havent been eating, and when I do, I pick everything apart and throw most of it away, thinking 'I dont want to feel fat after I eat this, so I just wont eat it'.  What the hell.  Im so pissed at myself.  My parents also realized this today, my mom seeing me undress today in her room, while I was getting changed.  They are super into eating healthy and having a positive self image no matter how you look, so they are upset that I let myself get so skinny.  So anyway,  yeah.  I wrote a whole post that was more in depth and whatever, but LJ lost it, then someone from highschool IM'ed me and asked me if my dog of 18 years was still alive, and now, sadly poochey died a year ago.  and I started to cry and I dont feel like typing anything more then this.

more later, when I get over myself.  here is a picture of katherine anyway:


and here are two videos I took of her being cute:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=632530713&n=2
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